If This Ambulance Had a Destination, We'd Drive to a Slim Chance of Tomorrow

from by Pariah

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I reach into the trash can
I pull out a receipt for a calendar and a Red Bull

People cuddle up under windows, tucked inside blanket vaults
As the storm they are watching sends cars into guardrails
Sends loved ones into cemeteries

I’m walking home from your dorm
And the hallway smells like “what were we just talking about?”

Two people lock eyes in a bookstore
They see nebulae reflected in corneas
And continue perusing used paperbacks

At home, I sleep until the afternoon
My phone buzzes ad infinitum
I am still asleep

A life encased in amber
Aptitude translated to inability
Through a thesaurus of anxiety

We are in my mother’s van
And the city is growing smaller behind us
Mannheim is closed

It is night time in a place where animals rule the streets
Headlights soak the asphalt sometime in the distant past

Cloaked in loathing, I lie motionless in my bed
As figures writhe in the static of darkness

The trees are falling down
They are clearing the forest where nothing can be forgiven
And only the rotten parts can crawl out from beneath the stones
And amble where the sun’s rays are not permitted to rest

I am standing next to a trash can
I throw away a receipt for a Red Bull and a calendar

Various strategies
Overcoming emotion

Dazed out and drenched in self-pity
Echoes of consciousness continuously loop
As shadows of the past year disappear

Deeply buried in self-loathing
When my potential took a turn in my head

Sorry, never meant such a lie
Smoke engulfs itself in warm embrace
Giving my lungs a sense of comfort
Putting my brain to rest

I am as broken as the rest
I am broken


from Intersecting Paths, released September 1, 2014
Jordan writes most of the music.
Tyler fills in the gaps.
Ben puts the icing on.



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Pariah Bartlett, Illinois


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